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Writing Through The Curves: Letting Go of the Pressure

9/11/2017

11 Comments

 

By Angela Cybulski

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​Tip #1: Let go of the pressure.

If you’re a writer you’ve undoubtedly heard or read some variation of this standard prescription for writing success: anywhere from 2 to 6 hours daily must be spent writing or the writer simply IS NOT – either a writer or writing. 

No doubt for some writers this Rx is just what the doctor ordered – i.e. the writer possesses the sort of lifestyle, temperament, and stamina that allow for that kind of daily time-on-task, and can survive on 4 or 5 hours sleep a night while still accomplishing all of the other myriad tasks of a busy family and work life. 

But for other writers, even seasoned ones, this prescription could prove fatal and create a type of toxic pressure that shuts down the possibility of living an authentic writing life before it even starts.

The truth is that not all writers are cut from the same cloth. Various factors contribute to one’s ability to commit to so many hours a day, or even every day, to work on a writing project. And when life starts reeling off major curveballs, an overly demanding writing schedule can create debilitating stress around something that should be enjoyable and life-giving. This is why I advise writers to discern a more REALISTIC, and less stressful, schedule that allows you to keep flexing your writing muscles while still allowing you to attend to the have-to’s in your life and which respects your unique writing temperament. Doing so can make the difference between moving forward (albeit at a snail’s pace) and abandoning your writing altogether.
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But how do you get started discerning a suitable way to let go of the pressure? Take a lesson from the ball park. Adjusting practice schedules and rehab routines for injuries is a dynamic that plays out over and over across major league baseball, with unique differences depending upon each player’s situation and need. 

Picture(Photo credit: Tony Gutierrez / AP; San Diego Union Tribune)
For example, former Los Angeles Angels star pitcher Jared Weaver was put on the disabled list a few years back for an elbow fracture and so was unable to continue his usual epic pitching schedule and performance. He needed to heal from the injury, work through rehab, and enter into a graduated practice schedule that was appropriate to managing this very serious curveball. Putting him on the same intense daily practice schedule All-Star teammate Mike Trout was managing would not have been an appropriate practice for Weaver at the time; in fact, it would have destroyed him. He needed to readjust his expectations about what he could and could not do in light of the curveball, while still staying in the game. In other words, he needed an individualized prescription that worked for him.

The point is that things change, often drastically. Ball players know this and they deal with the curves accordingly. Sometimes they're benched for an entire season because of the intensity of the curves they’re dealing with. Why can’t we writers cut ourselves some slack and reorient our vision and our schedule in consideration of the way our ability to work has changed?

The key to letting go of the pressure is to acknowledge something in your life has shifted and figure out how to modify your practice to stay in the game. It may not look like what OTHER writers are doing, but that’s not the point. The point is to do what works for YOU.

So, if you’re struggling with the curves and close to despairing of living an authentic writing life, ask yourself this question: Before your life took on the velocity and complexity of piloting a Stealth bomber, how often and for how long were you able to write? If your typical 3 hours every weeknight has suddenly become impossible, can you write for 90 minutes two or three times a week instead? Or if you were writing for an hour every morning before you went to work, can you try cutting back to 15 or 30 minutes several days a week? Taking some of the pressure off may just make it possible for you to keep writing through whatever difficult situation(s) is demanding the majority of your time, attention and energy.

In my case, before the curves started coming in hard and fast I was writing for 15-20 minutes nearly every morning, often more on some weekends . . .

(Wait! Do I hear snickering and snorting? The prelude to incredulous laughter? Before you start wondering why you are reading this and what kind of writer I could possibly be at that commitment level, do yourself a favor and check out Barbara DeMarco-Barrett’s brilliant and wholly unique book Pen On Fire: A Busy Woman’s Guide To Igniting The Writer Within. The book changed my writing life: Barbara’s approach is that a book CAN BE written in just 15 minutes a day. I haven’t seen this advice in any other book on writing. And guess what? It works. Because it focuses on the main goal – COMMITMENT – and removes the major obstacle –PRESSURE – to living an authentic writing life. In a little over a year, I wrote nearly 300 pages of my novel, and I didn’t even write every day. And if you happen to be a guy, don’t let the title of Barbara’s book deter you from reading it. It’s hands-down one of the best books on the writing life out there and the guidance is applicable to every busy writer.)

Now, as I was saying . . .

. . . at one point the curves came in hard and fast and made even those precious 15 minutes nearly impossible. Like Weaver, the first thing I had to do was to make peace with the fact that THINGS HAD CHANGED, my game had changed. I couldn’t go on writing as I had been. This acceptance is essential to letting go of the pressure, both the pressure you place on yourself and the perceived pressure the “industry” places on you.

The next step was to come up with a new writing Rx that was appropriate for me. I came up with a plan to write for several hours a few weekends a month. These days got blocked out on my calendar and I made a promise to myself to set some strict boundaries to protect this time. This meant saying “no” to some – but not all – invitations and events. Remember: no one is going to come up to you with a silver tea tray and serve up hours for you to write in. You need to take the time, steal it if you have to, and make it your own. This can be done, provided you make peace with the reality that things have changed and let go of the pressure that comes from trying to follow an Rx not suited to your needs. You may not be able to control the curveballs coming your way, but you CAN control yourself and how you approach the challenges they present. Look for niches of time that work best for your writing process needs and your unique temperament. And don’t laugh off something so small as 15 minutes just because it doesn’t “look like” what you think qualifies as real writing time. I’m proof a book can come out of miniscule increments of time.

Perhaps the most important thing to remember in negotiating letting the pressure off is that you promise not to beat yourself up if you CAN’T do it. That means that if you’ve blocked off a certain time to write, but the baby cries and you need to tend her, DO IT. If your nephew’s wedding is on that weekend and attending it means you won’t write until three weeks from now, go to the wedding. If you're thoroughly wiped out from dealing with the curves and desperately need a nap, take one. Guess what? Your book will survive and will be waiting when you get back. Life happens. The key here is to be realistic and protect the time against less important commitments and distractions.

If your life or your body are in complete turmoil, chances are you have enough pressures and worries weighing on you – don’t let your writing project be one of them. Keep working, but get pragmatic: let the pressure off, come up with a plan of action for dealing with the curves, and move forward with a changed approach to the game. Eventually things will return to whatever your normal is, or there will be a new normal. Either way, following outdated or useless prescriptions inappropriate for your condition doesn’t help you. Focus on what will and move forward.

What are some of the ways you have found to let the pressure off so you could continue working on your creative project even amidst major life changes? I’d love to hear what has or has not worked for you and how you’ve been able to let go of the pressure so that you can stay in the writing game. Perhaps someone else who is struggling can benefit from your strategy!

This is part one of a six-part series. You can find the series introduction here, and you can find successive entries here:

Tip #2: Find a Place Apart
Tip #3: Stay Connected

11 Comments
Jonas
9/13/2017 08:09:57 pm

Hey Angela,

I love this post. I'm extremely glad that you said that everyone has their one way best for them, and that "pressure" just really needs to get eliminated.

It's not easy. I'm very much still working on it. The only pressure that I do feel and understand is when the Muse is irreconcilable and belligerent...or maybe that's me...but I'm not sure if I have much a volition in that type of pressure. I have to write and do whenever possible. I at one time assumed it was best for me to write every day, but the Muse didn't agree.

So I write when I have to. Which is sporadic--sometimes endlessly and tirelessly, or sometimes just in months of silence.

Baseball definitely helps with the pressure, it is a deafening fun, especially the Astros.


-jonas

Reply
Angela Marie Cybulski link
10/17/2017 08:41:23 am

Hi Jonas,

Thanks for reading and for taking the time to leave a comment!

I think you articulate exactly what I'm trying to say in the piece -- that a writer needs to do what works for him. You said at one time you thought writing every day was the way to go for you, and then discovered that it isn't. I think if we are honest with ourselves and really take our dedication to our craft seriously, it will be easy to see if we are procrastinating/avoiding or if we really do need a bit of space in between writing bouts to do our best work. Only you know what you need as a writer, and only you know your temperament. If you are being honest and honoring your needs, the work will come. How much and how often is irrelevant. No one is watching.

And yes, taking in a ball game as a respite from wrangling the Muse is a great way to let off steam. Looks like as of today our teams are chasing each other in the standings. Stay tuned . . .

Cheers!

Reply
Cheryl Ruffing link
10/2/2017 12:58:00 pm

About a week ago, I read a post on writing 1,000 words a day and decided to give it a go. So far, so good. I'm nearly 900 words into today and plan on having the whole 1,000 ready to post before midnight. I have to say that I've been surprised by the benefits this practice has brought. I've spent years listening to the nasty voice in my head that tells me that what I'm doing isn't good enough and that no one cares. While I've worked long and hard to overcome that resistance, I basically got through it by telling myself not to worry about it and just get on with life. That didn't quite cut it, though. The thousand-word challenge is a lot like the 365-day photography projects I've completed over and over: it offers guidelines, a goal, and a bit of structure. The rest takes care of itself. I get started on my words first thing in the morning, see how far I can get in one sitting, then walk away and come back as needed throughout the day until I'm satisfied. I had not planned on posting each day's work to my blog, but I've found that doing so adds a level of accountability and makes me work a little harder.

Reply
Angela Marie Cybulski link
10/17/2017 08:50:25 am

Hi Cheryl,

You hit on a really important point -- and that is structure. We all need at least some structure. How much is really a personal decision, but no one thrives in boundaryless chaos. I honestly believe that true art tends towards order, even if the making of it appears messy, the tendency towards order, towards making sense, is inherent in true art. So structure in the making is necessary.

Your 1000 word/day task is excellent. Its giving you a manageable structure to accomplish your craft without creating unnecessary pressure (which tends to feed those negative voices in our heads). I find that if I DO THE WORK, however much that is, the voices tend to quiet. They grow loud when I avoid the work or create unnecessary pressure by placing excessive demands on my practice that I simply cannot meet. I love that you have found a way to work for now that allows you the freedom and peace to practice your craft without worry.

You mentioned resistance . . . I'd like to recommend a wonderful book called The War of Art, by Steven Pressfield, that deals with this very topic. Its a book every creative person should have on their desk, and it is one you will read again and again, in different seasons of your writing life, to help you handle those curveballs.

Thanks for stopping by to read and taking the time to leave a helpful comment. I hope you enjoy the rest of the series.

Cheers!

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Angela link
1/22/2018 04:16:47 pm

Thanks so much! I'm happy to know you enjoyed it!

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